Monk Chat

While in Thailand, I visited many Buddhist temples and monasteries. I spoke with many monks and Thais about Buddhism. I have a hard time classifying Buddhism as a religion, per se, because Buddhism welcomes people from every faith, without trying to convert or indoctrinate anyone.

I was raised Catholic, and as I grew old enough to make up my own mind about God and religion, I began formulating my own beliefs. I realized that although as a child I had received the first four sacraments of Catholicism: Baptism, Confirmation, Confession, and the Eucharist, I did not really consider myself to be Catholic. I was, but not in my heart.

Although I do not consider myself religious and I am not a member of any organized religion, I am nonetheless, fascinated with religion, purely from an educational standpoint. Since 9/11, I’ve done research. I’ve read books. I’ve asked questions that I’ve never asked before. I’ve learned a lot about Judaism, Islam, and Christianity: what makes them different, what the similarities are, the common ground, the often divisive tendencies. Abraham has become a captivating subject to me; again, not so much from a religious perspective, but more from a historical one—how these three religions view this man, and really, how these views have directed the path of world history.

I judge NO ONE based on their religious beliefs. I respect all religion, whether I agree with them or not. Religion never has and never will enter into my thoughts when choosing my friends or loving a woman. Live and let live, I say. And it is that “live and let live” idea that first piqued my curiosity about Buddhism.

Let me say first, that I do not consider myself to be a Buddhist. Not yet, anyway. I don’t actively pursue Buddhist teachings so that I may apply them to my life. I say, “actively pursue”, but there are many aspects of Buddhist teachings that I do practice, just because they are part of my nature, just as many of us do, including many of us who practice other religions, because Buddhism is more of a code of conduct to me, than it is a religious dogma.

And so, when I traveled to Thailand, I did so with many goals in mind. I wanted to hang out on the beautiful beaches. I wanted to eat my way through the country, never being afraid to try anything! I wanted to see the Royal Palace. I wanted to have a tailored suit made for me. I thought I might want to try snake whiskey. I wanted to learn everything I could in the short 3 1/2 weeks I would be there. And, specifically, I wanted to learn more about Buddhism. How was I to know that one of the most valuable conversations I have ever had in my life would take place in a temple just outside the old city-wall in Chiang Mai?

I arrived in Chiang Mai, on an overnight train from Bangkok. Chiang Mai is located in the northernmost area of Thailand, near the Golden Triangle, where the borders of Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar meet. The old city is surrounded by a high stone wall, and near this wall is a temple built in the 14th century called Wat Suan Dok.

I hadn’t planned on visiting this particular wat; I didn’t even know it was there. I just happened to walk by it as I toured Chiang Mai’s city center. When I first noticed it, it seemed like a peaceful oasis in the middle of all the bumper-to-bumper traffic that surrounded me. So I decided to enter it. I was rewarded with immediate serenity.

Young men, middle-aged men, old men, draped in saffron-hued robes, strolled across the stone courtyards and grass lawns, making their way to and from prayer sessions. I hadn’t planned on staying very long; just long enough to snap a few pictures to say, “I was there” and to take a quick look around. After all, I’d spent hours in Bangkok at Wat Pho, Wat Phra Kaew, and Wat Arun (Wat Chaeng), checking out the Reclining Buddha, the Emerald Buddha, and all of the incredible architecture, decoration, and sculpture. I thought I’d already garnered everything I possibly could from visiting Buddhist wats.

After snapping a few photos and enjoying the quietude the temple offered, I was ready to leave. It had just started raining. I walked past a large object covered by a tarp, and I remember wondering what was under it. As I thought about lifting up a corner of the tarp to satisfy my curiosity, my attention was suddenly captured by a small yellow sign hanging on the wall of a building just beyond the mysterious tarp-thing.

The sign read: MONK CHAT, and for some reason I think I chuckled out loud when I saw it. Monk Chat? What could that mean? Was it just another example of a Thai-to-English translation gone comically wrong? I’d seen many humorous instances of that already, and I’d only been in Thailand a few days. Monk Chat. Well, I had to investigate.

I found the door to the building and walked inside. There were rows of tables, behind each of which, sat a monk. Some of the tables had empty chairs in front of them; many of them had Westerners, obviously, sitting at them. I eaves-dropped on some of the conversations that were taking place between monks and tourists, and my first impression was that I had stumbled into some sort of a Buddhist workshop. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be here, so I started to go back the way I came. As I did, one of the monks waved in my direction and motioned me to come over to him. I looked around and yeah, he was waving at me.

I walked over, and he said in English, “Why you leave already? If you leave and not talk to me, I be very sad.”

I didn’t know quite what to say, so I didn’t say anything.

He asked me if I was American and I told him I was. I wasn’t sure how he might have guessed this so easily. “Oh, good,” he said, smiling a toothy grin, “now I able practice English with you.” He motioned toward the chair opposite him and obediently, I put down my backpack and sat down.

I have to admit, I was a bit intimidated; not because of fear, mind you. No. Not at all. I just wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act. I mean, monks are revered in Thailand. There is no greater wish a Thai mother could have than for her son to become a Buddhist monk; doctor or teacher are up there too, but I get the feeling that "monk" is at the top of the list. There are rules here, for dealing with monks. And I didn’t know what these rules were.

As it turned out, the only “rules” I needed to follow were to make sure to ask any questions about Buddhism or Thailand that I wanted to. I realized that I might as well, because clearly, as I found out immediately, this monk (I’ll forever regret the fact that I didn’t think to write down his name at the time) was going to ask me anything and everything that he wanted to.

He soon had me feeling strangely at ease talking about my country, my travels, my personal life, and even my income. So at ease, in fact, that I had no problem asking him questions about his beliefs, his family, and even the sex life of a monk. His sex life, you ask? His family? But aren’t monks celibate? Well, yeah. They are. But it’s not as easy as saying, “A monk…is a monk…is a monk…” In Thailand anyway, a monk doesn’t necessarily stay a monk and a monk hasn’t necessarily always been a monk.

You see, there are those cases in which a young boy enters a monastery, eventually becomes a monk, and remains a monk until the day he dies. But most of the time, a Thai man will leave his “real” life, even for as little as one week, enter a monastery, and by so doing, immerse himself in the disciplined ways of the monks. The person I was speaking with was one of these dudes. Actually, technically he wasn’t even a monk—he was a novice I think. He was in the midst of a one-year sabbatical from his job, his family, and his life. He had a wife and a son of his own. Now, of course, while living as a monk for a year, he would practice celibacy (in fact, women are forbidden to even touch monks).

Well, I had learned something valuable already! Now, I’m not going to list here, everything that I learned about Buddhism and Thailand, from my time with this open and incredibly friendly man. And I won’t tell you everything I told him about myself. Suffice it to say, however; that I was often surprised; never embarrassed; and completely honest.

I will also ask you to guess how long I spent at that table talking to this interesting fellow. Fifteen minutes? A half-hour? An hour? Hardly. When I got up to leave, I’d spent three hours in one of the most stimulating, absorbing conversations I’d ever had! And I think I left with just as many new questions as I’d had original ones! But I knew that most of these questions could only be answered by me, and how I chose to experience life from here on out, and more importantly, how I decided to live my life from now on.

I left, feeling like I needed to invent my own mantra; and discover a creed to live my life by; and to somehow give back what Thailand and Buddhism was giving me, by becoming a better man.

Some of what I did learn was this (but there was sooooooooo much more):

· That Buddhism is a way of life. To follow the teachings of Buddha is to follow a path to enlightenment, which will help one to understand the causes of, and the remedies for, the pain experienced in daily life.

· That, much to my surprise, many practitioners of organized faiths actually find value in Buddhism’s simplistic teachings, in deepening their relationship with God.

· That you don't have to apply all of Buddha's teachings to your life in order to be a "good" Buddhist. You are encouraged to take only what works for you and your life. You don't even have to accept all Buddhist teachings. You aren't spoon-fed Buddhism. It's kind of a "do-it-yourself" way of spirituality.

· That one reason Thais seem so genuine, open, friendly, and helpful, and yeah, they’re just so damn likeable, is because they believe in reincarnation. Let me explain what I mean, because this is more of an 'indirect' reason. Oh yeah, first I have to say that I learned this as well: In Buddhism, reincarnation is NOT the notion of a transmigration of a person’s soul (that idea that when you die, if you were a bad person, you’ll come back as an ant or something, and then you’ll get squashed). It’s more a parable that deals with karma and moral energy and realms of existence. More on what I learned about karma, in a second. Okay, so Thais are likeable. The reason for this is that they believe in cause-and-effect—that one’s actions, thoughts, and words release spiritual energy into the universe in all directions, and one is in turn, affected by influences coming to him from all directions. Therefore, the nobility of a person’s character is dependent on his “good” actions, thoughts, and words; and if a person incorporates “bad” actions, thoughts, and words into his life, he will be influenced negatively. I know it’s a mouthful. Just know that karma, unlike fate, can be changed. The point is that Thais, and Buddhists, try to be good people, and in my opinion, much more so than any other group of people I have ever met.

· That being a prostitute in Thailand, while not exactly what a young girl would aspire to be, isn’t really the worst thing a woman can choose as a profession. It’s a means to an end for poor country girls. It is the easiest way for her to save enough money to take care of her parents and siblings in her village back home; or to save enough to open her own business such as a restaurant, massage practice, or manicure establishment.

· That if you are ever invited to join a Thai family in their home for a home-cooked, traditional Thai meal, it is customary to bring some sort of gift with you. It was good to know this about ten days later, when I was indeed invited to a woman's humble home for a delicious dinner. Also, make sure to take off your shoes before entering. Oh yeah, just a quick note here—if you are invited to go out for dinner, to a restaurant, expect to pay the tab. It has something to with honor and not losing face, "face" being quite important in many Asian societies.

Some of what I hope my new friend learned from me:

· That I’m not as rich as he thinks I am.

· That not all Americans think America should rule the world.

· That, despite the many problems we have in this country, I am very proud to be an American citizen and am so very fortunate that I am one, as well. (But despite our high opinion of ourselves, the U.S. can be better...it has made mistakes internationally...and I wish the U.S. would acknowledge more of those mistakes publicly)

· That not every one of my girlfriends has looked like Pamela Anderson. Seriously, it’s as if he thought we grew them on trees like that. He was even more surprised when I told him I didn’t think Pam Anderson would be quite my type. I was shocked to learn he knew who she was and reminded him that she is actually Canadian.

· That we don’t call our country “America” very often; except in political speeches, country/western songs, and in times of national tragedy. Rather we refer to our country as “The United States” or “The U.S.” My monk guy had no idea what "The United States" was. Seriously! He had heard of the U.S. somewhere before. But to Thais, and many other people in the world, we are “America”. I’m not sure how that makes Canada or Mexico feel. Know what I mean?

· That I think I can eat just as many chile peppers in a sitting as he or any other Thai can. Luckily, he didn’t have a bowl of them sitting at the table with us. I really didn’t want to have to prove myself to anyone on this point.

· That I will one day return to Thailand, perhaps to live for an extended period, and may even live there as a monk, allbeit very briefly I suspect.

If you ever find yourself in Chiang Mai, please do yourself a favor and visit Wat Suan Dok. Experience Monk Chat. I don’t care if you are Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, or an Atheist. Culturally and spiritually, you will leave with a smile on your face and an appreciation for something you maybe didn’t understand.

Monk Chat is simply an opportunity for us farang (foreigners) to have informal discussions with monks about all sorts of general subjects. It’s a great way to learn about Thailand and Buddhism. It helps novice monks exchange ideas with people from other walks of life. And it’s a great way to help them with their English and for them to help you with your Thai.

Buddhism is rife with parables. One that I will always remember is this: Accept people as individuals. Don’t put labels on people: She is Buddhist. You are Catholic. He is Hindu. I am Protestant. Respect everyone on equal terms; water is water, and when rivers reach the sea, who can tell whether that water came from the Ping River which flows through Chiang Mai or the Nile River which flows through Cairo?

Indeed.